There’s no getting around the fact that being a mother is a tough gig, but it is also known for being the greatest.
On any given day, a mother exhibits at least one superpower — whether it’s finding the missing Lego piece in the abyss of a playroom or staying up all night to keep tabs on a feverish toddler. That is why I found another exceptional mother who not only is successfully raising their own kids, but also helping others.
Welcome to part three of Exceptional Moms Making A Difference.
Hilary Klassen, Co-Founder & CEO of Bestselfy
A mom of two little boys. She was an HR consultant and coach for more than 10 years. And now she is making a difference in the world of employees by her company, Bestselfy. The artificial intelligence pocket coach helps build deeper self-awareness, track daily mood, and create new work habits.
Can you tell us more about you?
“I’ve always been fascinated with the world. And just meeting people from all over and reaching with international affairs, political economy, but I knew, hey, what’s who’s driving what politics business, I found politics was a little slow. For me, I tend to have a lot of energy and want to move things very quickly.”
“I’ve worked for very, very large companies, like Lufthansa, I spent 10 years at Gallup as a benchmarking consultant, also helping to be their HR profession, got asked to move from DC to Berlin randomly, it will be almost 16 years now. And just thought, why not? Off we go to a new adventure and to help build a market for them and across Europe. But I’ve opened up offices in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, across Europe, China, Asia, sort of everything. And at the same time, I was doing coaching and consulting with a lot of founders.”
How did you start your business and why?
“Women that in Berlin looked a little different about 9 years ago, where there weren’t as many ex-pats as there are now and opportunities. And so I had a lot of also mom’s wondering what they are supposed to do, how would they do it. And I knew, there’s this whole other tech world out here, I want to be in the core in the center of that of what the future is, and, and so jumped in.”
“So I’ve worked for tech, fast-growing tech companies, in-house, but also as a consultant myself for the last six years. And I’ve had many different ideas of where you see problems, or you see challenges, so I came up with a concept of self-driven coaching. A purely digital solution, where there’s no human coach involve, people can optimize it themselves to be more productive, be more engaged at work, have better work-life balance, as we call it, and giving them you know, what is called bite-size coaching.”
How do you see that it impacts from the employee?
“Changing jobs and things are moving so quickly, in this world, the workforce looks different, the expectations of people in the workforce are different.”
“I think, also, when we look at this from being a parent be able to work, maybe it’s more about bringing the whole person, do we have to be aligned at companies for years, now we’re seeing this, you know, the propensity of people changing jobs usually is. I mean, in the US, it’s around 18 months in tech companies, probably even more here in Europe.”
“So that was what got me thinking with Bestselfy, how do we help people be their best selves at work, and every day… a lot of things. What we were doing is saying how do we serve up a model that replicates coaching in a way that’s purely digital. There’s no human coach and just bite-size coaching tools.”
“You start with reflection, understand yourself, apply what you can do, and it should be just a couple minutes a day. And then you were able to master things.”
How did you manage to do what you are doing and being a mom?
“I think looking back, I was also I was quite fortunate, I was in a pretty high-level position in consulting, traveling quite a bit. That’s something I really didn’t want to stop doing. And it was really important to me to have a baby, particularly in Germany, it’s a little different than in countries who might be from, and you have a great amount of support from the state, you know, to stay at home and do this and you’re thinking, that’s great.”
“And the first year, I would say I was super fortunate, my husband also got quite a bit of work as he was doing the kindergarten, the transition period. So he did that. And actually, the comments I did receive from people like how dare you to leave your baby and you’ve got to be like thick skin around this because, you know, you have to decide what is right for you and your family.”
“You will always receive these comments, and it’s just sort of, you know, you just have to kind of let it go and also realize what you really want. And the time I spend with my children is quality time, right? It’s not quantity, it’s quality. And so I’m a firm believer of that.”
“And if you know have any doubts or anything, you know, babies realize this, in your family, obviously, your partner does. So I think being able to be very clear is important.”
How did you negotiate your work timing with your superior?
“Every woman, every parent, and family situation is different.”
“So you know, being able to figure out what that means for your core family is important. And every child is different too, they’re unique individuals and need different things. I think also being able to give your child up to somebody to take care of them or a babysitter or in kindergarten or a nursery is super challenging. I think for mothers, that’s our first hurdle. Nobody can do it as well as I can, right?”
“You know, after having a child is it’s you have to, you have to have those conversations and you actually have to be quite proactive. Don’t wait for your manager to come to you, you start having those conversations and have them early, even if you don’t know.”
“So I already set this routine and schedule and made it very clear, not just for my manager, but for my team. I’ve worked with people across the globe, and keep telling them, if you need me after 5:30, I won’t be checking my emails on my phone or any or messaging systems. But if you need me, call me. If it’s urgent, until about eight o’clock, I mean, that was for me.”
What are the tips that you give in order to manage the daily life of a mom?
“I do believe there are concepts of things that you actually are aligned with. So know what that is, what’s the purpose every day of going to work, spending time with your family, and making sure you focus on self-care.“
“Defining that for yourself is really critical.”
“Again, those core values around your family come first like, if they’re sick or you are, everything else is secondary. And also, it is about the quality time you also spend with yourself and with your family”
“In addition, a good friend of mine told me 10 years ago, that you don’t have to do everything, you have to outsource.”
If you’re happy, it goes both ways. Your children feel it.
-Hilary Klassen
“So it is important to be really in tune with ourselves and what we need. You can try to budget half an hour a day, and this is what I got. Yeah, half an hour for yourself.”
What would you like to recommend for a mom who is switching to another job?
“From the mother’s point of view? I mean, first of all, stop the self-doubt.”
When they read a job description or an advert, women opt out when they don’t fulfill at least 80%. And this is statistically proven. Were men will say right away that they can do that.
“So I think if you’re switching careers or thinking about different functions, evaluate yourself. I’ve done a lot of career coaching in the past. And then obviously, the Bestselfy is about helping people in the workplace. But it’s really about understanding yourself, right? Where my strengths, what do I do best? What are what gives me energy around things?”
“Do that little assessment for yourself, and then apply.”
“Reach out to potential employers, to HR but don’t be too spammy.”
Got inspired by these women? Read more stories of moms making a difference here.
